I don't even know where to start.

I suppose I should apologize, but I am sick of apologizing. I thought maybe I would just give up on this blog - but I still feel like I need a place to vent and talk and just say what I want to say. Some people still read it. Some people still feel the need to criticize what I say - but I don't really care any more. I'm up to the brim with accusation and hatefulness.

My son has literally turned into a different person. I don't know him anymore. He says "F--- Y---" to me, and has today said he doesn't want to talk to me ever again.

The person who used to be my best friend is riding my ass because I owe her money - and I would give ANYTHING to be able to pay it back and not have to deal with her ever again. But I can't and I will have to deal with this for I don't know how long. I am so sick of getting accusatory emails. I am so sick of crying over the way she is and the way she talks to me. I wish I could rub a bottle and have a genie jump out and take care of this debt for me. I break out in hives every time I have to talk to her about it. Mind you, I don't bring this up - she does. Every so often she just goes off and I have to deal with it over and over and over again. If I weren't making monthly payments ( as we agreed) I could understand it - but...oh well.

So - in a very small nutshell - that's what's going on. Sorry I haven't been here. I hope you are all doing well.